Little League and Leadership
One of the best parts of my post-Army life is the increase in quality time I’m able to spend with my kids and my community. I grew up playing baseball and softball, and I even had the opportunity to be a part of Army West Point Softball team as a cadet (and in full transparency, I walked on and was a back-up pitcher/batting practice pitcher, I was good, not great). I love sports, and I know the baseball/softball world most, so as my boys have ventured into playing little league ball in our local sports associations, I have helped as an assistant coach. Coaching my boys in their youth sports and in some fundamental fitness at home has given me an excellent perspective both on coaching and the opportunities for character and leadership development.
Hardly a week goes by that I’m not discussing the lessons from youth sports with my fellow leaders and friends. They are both the lessons that I am working to teach the kids, and the lessons that I take away from observing them and assessing my own coaching capabilities, techniques, and styles. I believe youth sports, with the right adult leadership and good parent involvement, are valuable vehicles for developing our kids into future leaders of character. It is also a reflection of the character and leadership that we, the coaches, and parents have. That’s a serious responsibility and we (the adults) should make sure we don’t forget that. Little eyes are watching, and they will become what they see and hear. For those of us who have played sports growing up, at any level, we can know coaches have a significant impact on our development.
Little league baseball, for our family, has wrapped up now. In my reflections on the season, I have ten (10) observations and lessons that apply to us as much as they do to the kids.
1. Anger deflates others immediately. Whether it was a coach that was angry at a bad call or play, a kid that got mad at their teammate (or themselves), or a parent yelling a bit too much from the stands, it was always clear the impact that anger had on individuals and sometimes a whole team. The fun goes out of the game, they lose focus, they lose energy, and they develop fear of making another mistake. I firmly believe that good coaches identify and correct problems that exist. It is the “how” we correct those issues that matters. As leaders, how we address the problems will impact how the person/team receives it. I have seen some kids receive some hard, but honest input with open arms when they first understand how it will help them improve. The tone, care, and commitment of the coach to the player’s best interest, as an athlete AND a person matters. The “do it because I said so model” is ineffective everywhere when it is the sole basis for “why.” It works, and only works, when the leader has first developed an instructional and developmental approach that includes building trust with their players and team. When that happens, then the team knows that if the coach/leader says to do it, they can trust the why and they probably already know it because they have rehearsed and practiced it. Anger is a fire that burns bridges, attitudes, and consumes the motivation, fun, and focus that might have previously been there; it is more likely to develop cynicism than excellence.
2. Clarity is kindness. It is easy for us, in sports and life, to overcomplicate everything. An obvious discovery I made in youth sports is that kids need clarity. They need you to be clear, they need a demonstration, and they need to do the same thing several times to get it. And then next practice, they need to do it again. It seems, for some reason, we assume that age allows us to complicate instructions and projects more for adults in the workplace or other organizations. Granted, the problems are often more complex. But what if we took the time to look at it and really clarify our goals, outcomes, and techniques? What if we made sure everyone got it? Clarity is kindness, and when leaders fail to provide that clarity, then they fail to set their teams up for success and they create false expectations for the desired outcome. With the variety of learning styles and personalities that exist, it would behoove us leaders to do the hard work to create clarity. Clarity and simplicity are NOT the same. Simple is a true good if it efficiently solves the problem, but when that is not possible, then clarity is the way.
3. Peer encouragement is priceless. One of the changes I noticed with the kids on my oldest son’s team (10U) was that they were starting to get the idea of providing encouragement to each other on the field. Watching them go up to the mound and whisper some fun and encouraging words to the pitcher, or giving tips while someone was on deck was a great thing to see and a progression from 8U. In our league, 10U is when kids pitch first starts, and that is a difficult transition. Those with the ability to have enough consistency to regularly take the pitching mound also put a great burden on themselves. Every single one of those boys pitching expected more from themselves than they should have given their complete lack of experience. Not once did I see their peers in the field give them grief for their pitching, but I consistently saw them provide encouragement, support, and celebration. Those of us coaching and the parents could cheer for them and offer encouragement, and that matters, but none of it meant as much as when one of their teammates gave it. The same was true for the players that struggled with hitting at the beginning of the season but started making contact towards the end. The boys would line up to give high fives and hugs even when the hit resulted in an “out” because they valued the marked progress. I think this was one of my favorite parts of the season. What if we cheered and encouraged each other more in the workplace as peers? I saw this in one of my Army roles where, as Operations Officer, I worked extremely close (and became great friends) with the Executive Officer as we focused on working together to move the unit in the direction our Commander gave us. It was so much so, that the Commander noted that he had rarely seen two peers work so well together at the critical career juncture we were at instead of being competitive. What if, as leaders, we created an environment that fostered encouragement and joint mission accomplishment and not in-organization competition? Competition does bring out greatness in people, and there are absolutely times when it makes sense to use that approach. However, balancing that with celebrating each other and focusing on contributions to team success builds great camaraderie and culture.
4. Fear is paralyzing. While it often made me chuckle, and sometimes frustrated me, this season reminded me how years of playing the game alter an individual’s approach. I know that, when stealing bases or simply running bases in general, the more aggressive the runner is in owning the basepath and, when necessary, sliding into bases, makes it much more likely that they will be safe. These boys were not familiar enough to know that yet, and anytime there was a close call on the basepath, the runners seemed to freeze up, slow down, and sometimes just stop and allow the tag to take place. I would talk to them about why they froze, and while none of them outright said “fear” made them do it, that is exactly what happened. When they focused on the fear of getting out or the risks of inexperienced sliding to be safe, the other team would inevitably tag them out. When the couple of our players with more experience encountered those situations, they focused on the reward of the risk vs. the fear. They wanted the base. They wanted to score the run. They were focused on the reward and not the fear, and they typically reaped the reward of that risk because the players in the field also felt the fear of having a hard charging, aggressive runner come their way. Leaders need to look for ways to mitigate fear that exists. Training and practice create the experience for it, and developing discussions and focusing on the rewards of some of those risks helps reframe the issue from one of paralyzing fear to reward and success. This requires both training and right focused problem framing and discussion from the leader. Because experience matters, leaders must help develop the opportunities for that in lower risk scenarios to build capabilities and confidence. Lastly, we as leaders need to remember that the knowledge and capabilities we have came from training and experience. Do not expect them to be you but help grow them into the most capable them possible using your skills and experiences!
5. Celebrate success! If ever kids need to celebrate success, it’s when they have new achievement in a challenging endeavor. Catching pop flies was not the easiest skill for our team, or anyone we played for that matter. We practiced it a lot, but in the pressure and noise of a game, pop flies were always a moment when coaches and parents on both sides collectively held their breath with half hoping for a catch and half hoping for a drop. But let me tell you, when one of those boys actually made the catch, it was ultimate jubilation from everyone on their side – teammates, coaches, and parents. The celebration wasn’t just at catching pop flies, but making good outs, strikes, big hits, and hits from guys who often didn’t get the bat on the ball. Kids like to celebrate when things go well EVEN if they are losing the rest of the game. Because they are learning the game, EVERY achievement mattered regardless of the final score. We lose this as we grow older. We tend to only celebrate the biggest things, and we overlook when our people are learning and making new achievements for them, even if they aren’t new achievements for us. If we truly want our organizations to be learning and growing organizations, then we need to recognize and celebrate successes along the way. Yes, that celebration must be incremental and appropriate for the success. Sometimes it’s a word of recognition, a handwritten note, and other times it’s something much more substantial. When a non-hitter started getting some hits, we didn’t immediately move them to the top-4 battings positions. But we still celebrated with them and in doing so, we built their confidence. Leaders, take the time to notice improvement, it truly matters, and is both an easy and enjoyable task to do.
6. Be a good teammate. As I already stated, the boys were amazing at encouraging each other, and that is a big part of being a good teammate. But being a good teammate is more than saying nice things to each other. My youngest is a new 6-year-old, and in his flag football last year and baseball this year, I had him remember and recite five simple things repeatedly to help him focus on his game. The most important of those statements was “be a good teammate.” We defined this as RESPECT for our teammates. It includes encouragement, but it also touches on not being distracting, taking care of each other’s gear, not fighting over the ball, giving one’s best, working together, and listening to their coach. The 10U baseball players were generally very good at this on the field, BUT the moment they got in the dugout it was a completely different story. They tuned out of the game and tuned into each other. They were flipping bottles, messing with helmets, tossing mitts at each other, spraying water, you name it. While we never fully resolved it (they’re still developing kids), we did improve it by helping define for them what respect for each other means, what it looks like, and how what they were doing was not good for them as a team and preparing them to bat well or take the field next. I believe the ability to treat others with dignity and respect strongly reflects one’s character. I also believe that a leader may personally be good at showing respect and dignity but may shirk from correcting those they lead when they fail to be respectful. When leaders allow others to be bad teammates, it spreads. I was consistently shocked and amazed at some of the rude and downgrading things some kids from other teams told our boys when they were running the bases, warming up, or doing the “good game” line at the end. These poor actions noticeably increased as the season progressed. The leader sets the standard not only with their own actions but with the actions that they allow around them. Being a good teammate matters deeply, and it spills over into customer service, contractor coordination, sales opportunities, etc., and ultimately an organization’s reputation.
7. Be consistent. We needed so many more practices this year. We did not have nearly enough practice time given the new introduction of kid pitch, base stealing, etc. There was a real temptation for us to try to do a little bit of everything. I was very tempted by this, personally, and was glad the head coach chose a few specific areas for the boys to focus on when we did have the chance to practice. Those areas did improve. Additionally, the method in which he assigned players to the batting order was clear and transparent to kids and parents and mitigated complaints and explanations. Consistency allowed for individual and team growth. We did not win a lot of games, but we did improve throughout the season. We stayed within our span of control and tried to focus on the most attainable, most high value skills. Consistency assists leaders in prioritizing efforts and tasks, and it helps them to identify when they need to create time and space for learning something new because they know what has and has not been the focus. When everything is a priority, nothing is a priority, and consistency plays a significant role in communicating priorities.
8. Focus is hard. Focus was one of the most difficult areas to address with kids and it must walk hand-in-hand with “consistency” or it won’t happen. Attempting to motivate a lot of 10U or 6U boys to focus on baseball (or you name the sport) is not the easiest task and I am not sure I’ve cracked the nut on how to appropriately motivate focus in kids. Incentives and rewards are helpful to some, but not all, as is regularly repeating and reminding them of what is happening and how they should be ready. Every kid had a different way of approaching this, and I believe that is common to the human population due to different personalities and behavior tendencies. For my boys, and a few others I connected well with and had the maturity, I would ask them “what helps you focus” and they would provide some good insights into how they play and achieve. Connection is key to helping someone focus. We did have a couple of boys who were naturally focused and “all-in”, and they were the ones we had to make sure weren’t hyper-focused and too hard on themselves. Leaders must help their teams and subordinates focus on what is important through getting to know them and fostering an emotionally intelligent environment. This is a bit easier of a task in most organizations where there is a hiring or selection process exists. Nevertheless, leaders must still take the time and learn what makes their team members operate at peek performance, and that requires relationships and an individualized approach. Additionally, leaders need to be aware of those high-performing individuals who might easily reach burn-out through sheer personal motivation. We all want those people on our teams, but sometimes leaders must help them preserve the ability to play the long game. Often, these individuals are the ones leaders can intentionally start to develop for future leadership or responsibility roles, but not at the cost of burn-out.
9. Small adjustments yield big payoffs. One of the fun things about coaching kids is how, generally, they really do listen to and respect their adult coaches. As coaches, we must honor and respect that trust and be very careful to steward it appropriately because they are going to take it to heart. This is a powerful concept when it comes to coaching skills, especially for those with enough maturity to really make the small changes that matter. We had two heavy hitters on our team who started the season great but started to struggle with hitting the ball or hitting anything but pop-ups. Their power was still there, and they were swinging at the right pitches. However, they were starting to cut under the ball too much, a mix between a golf swing and an axe swing. They were doing almost everything right, but their swings were going under the ball. I worked with them to start straightening their swing out better so they could connect with the ball. In the next game, as both boys were “on-deck” and “in the hole” to hit, they asked, “Coach Brittany, is this it?” and gave some good practice swings that looked like what we had discussed. I gave them the affirmative, and each of them made their way to the plate and hit home runs. It was a slight adjustment with a big payoff for the team and for these key players individually. We had to continue the focus and consistency on it through the rest of the season to keep seeing success because they were still learning how to maintain the right approach. Sometimes leaders want to look for the silver bullet, fire it once, and expect that to be it. Leading humans is more complicated than that. It requires fine tuning, conversation, rehearsal, practice, focus, and consistency. The payoff, however, is well worth the analysis and effort and the results require celebration.
10. How you win & lose matters. Likely you grew up hearing, “it’s not how you win, it’s how you play the game.” I believe that is correct, and I believe it also matters how you lose a game. For the 10U baseball, we had a “fair play” rule that all the teams were supposed to abide by because the boys were still learning and exploring the game. The “fair play” rule requires every player to have time playing in the infield. Each team had 11-12 players and a game typically went three to four innings in 90 minutes. With six infield positions, that meant a coach must do some planned out substitutions to ensure everyone gets that fair play. It complicates a bit more when there are only a few players capable of pitching and there is strict max pitch-count rule in place to protect their arms. It was incredibly disappointing to see most of the teams in our league fail to enforce this, especially the team that “won it all.” We were fiercely committed to the rule because it is exactly what the kids need at this age. And, again, it was the rule! It was not the best strategy to win, but it was the best strategy to learn. We did our best to balance out skills on who was where and when, but we ensured our rotations. It is no surprise that the teams that rotated the least (if at all other than pitcher) were also the ones who had some of the most smug and rude kids talking trash on the field. Character matters, and those we lead see it, regardless of age. In a “win at all costs” organization, someone is going to intentionally do something illegal, immoral, or unethical because the environment demands it. When organizations are committed to “winning the right way” and “failing fast to learn,” they create an environment where moral integrity wins the long game, innovation is encouraged, and creativity is the norm. “Winning” isn’t everything. Winning the right way, which includes accepting some appropriate losses along the path, is the aim. Regardless of whether those we lead are 3rd & 4th graders on the baseball field, a small business, a department, a non-profit, a church, or a school, they will follow our example and emulate our definition and approach to both losing and winning. If you’re ever in doubt or questioning your approach in organization, think about how you would do it if it was your kids, nephews, nieces, or friends on a sports team. Would you want them to win that way? Would you want them to lose that way? As leaders, let’s be who the leaders of character we want our children to become.
It was a joy to be a part of this year’s baseball season with both my boys. I often wished that we, as adults, still knew how to have fun and celebrate like kids as they learn and reach new achievements. While I quite can’t tap into my inner elementary kid (though, she was quite fierce – stories for another day!), I can help my kids navigate their own sports and learning journeys. Intentionally helping and coaching them, and their teammates, is fun and rewarding. It has also been truly incredible to see it all through the unique perspectives and experiences of my life journey, and to then weave in leader and character development as a part of their experience. Leadership lessons and opportunities for development are everywhere we engage and interact with others. Everything doesn’t have to be a lesson, but lessons are everywhere!
